A Mishap in Fate
by realepearson
Summary: Lorenzo Douglass, a dimwitted child, is going on a journey to become a pokemon master, a very original concept. He begins with an...unusual starter from Professor Pencil as he goes on his nonsensical journey throughout the land of Adanack, a ridiculously small country between the United States and Canada. Becoming a master won't become the only conflict, however...
1. Chapter 1: Slightly Stranger Things

Lorenzo Douglass, a ten year old, just woke up and jumped out of bed.

"Oh boy, this is the day that I finally get my first pokemon,' he said and jumped out of the window without even changing.

He landed on the ceiling of Professor Pencil's laboratory and made a brand new hole that wasn't there before.

"Finally, after 20 years of hard and long work, I have found the cure for pokecancer, and I get to save the world after this!" Professor Pencil exclaimed. "I just have to be really careful with these mathematical formulas and this ridiculously small vial. If I drop this, my whole life's work would be ruined!"

The professor laughed awkwardly as Lorenzo fell onto his work, utterly destroying it and splattering the vial on the floor.

"Woah, sorry about that doc, but I came to get my first pokemon!" Lorenzo stated excitedly.

Professor Pencil didn't answer because he was too busy crying over his life's work vanishing like sonic the hedgehog running (brb read my fanfic shadow the supersaiyanjediophedgehog ecks dee)

"What's the matter?" Lorenzo asked. "It wasn't like I destroyed the cure for pokecancer, the disease that has mercilessly ended the lives of hundreds of millions in the course of two decades."

Professor Pencil fell into a panic attack and was rushed to the hospital by his lab assistant, and Lorenzo just stood there awkwardly.

"Oh well," he said. "If no one is going to hand me a starter pokemon, then I might as well take one myself. Now where does Professor Pencil keep the pokeballs at?"

Lorenzo rummaged through dozens of classified files, including files about the existence of legendary pokemon, the cure for aids, and many more trivial files. It didn't concern him, for he had much better things to worry about, like what was his starter gonna eat for breakfast on the 15th of January.

Not finding pokemon in files with documents, he began pushing buttons randomly where he looked, while looking at the labels occasionally.

"US missile launch codes, no, existence of extraterrestrial life, no, incoming doomsday, no, starter pokemon for the tiny kids, bingo!" he yelled as a pedestal erupted from the floor and three pokeballs were around the center.

 _Why wasn't this already prepared?_ Lorenzo thought, but he shrugged and grabbed a random one.

"Go, whatever you are!" he hollered as he chucked it at the ceiling, right through the hole he created when he free-fell from his house.

"Ow, my leg!" he heard someone yell in agony from the distance, but that starter was a lost cause.

He picked up the next one and tossed it at the wall this time. He threw it with so much force that the ball shattered, killing the innocent creature that was inside of it.

 _Well, that's just life_. Lorenzo reassured himself as he gently picked up the final pokeball.

 _I need to handle this one like a newborn child, a calm, innocent baby that I need to take care of, and I have nothing to worry about._ Lorenzo thought calmly.

"AHHHHH" he shrieked. "I HATE RESPONSIBILITIES!" He then threw it at the floor, just as hard as the last time if not harder in his blind panic.

Along with the pokeball, the floor tile also shattered, revealing a keypad.

"Alright!" Lorenzo screamed with glee. "Professor Pencil must've wanted me to find this secret! He must know me really well to design such an elaborate plan, but what is the password?"

Lorenzo assumed a thinking pose and 2 seconds after he assumed the pose, he started to press buttons.

"1, hmmm, 1, 1 , and 1!" Lorenzo said aloud to no one.

"Incorrect passcode," the panel beeped. "You are not even near correct, and I can easily tell you aren't Professor Pencil. Be gone, Soviet intruder."

Missiles came out of surprisingly nowhere, and Lorenzo responded by putting on his limited edition 2009 Matrix Convention shades. This was extremely helpful because the missiles also appeared to be targeting him.

He dodged one, did a backflip over another, backed into a corner, climbed the wall, grabbed a rocket, and threw it into the panel.

"System shutdown," it beeped. "I'll be back," it said as it faded to nothing.

There was revealed to be a ladder beneath the panel, and Lorenzo started climbing down it to the unknown.

Several hours had passed since the encounter, and Lorenzo was getting bored.

"Oh well," he said aloud. "I might as well jump down, the least I'll get is death, am I right?"

He let go of the ladder, and started falling for hundreds of feet. He faced the heights with a determined face, but then he began to ponder how he would get back up. Then he came up with an answer to that.

"Surely after I beat the final boss in this dungeon, then I will be magically teleported to the lab, and speaking of the lab, I wonder when I'll get my starter," he thought some more.

His fall was nearing the end of its course, and he surprisingly landed on a very soft, cushioned mattress that didn't break his legs.

He immediately noticed that the only thing in the room was said mattress, and a locked, metal, rusty door, that was partially eroded. There was also a little bit of wall around the door, but that served no purpose.

 _I could use one of the holes from erosion to use the doorknob on the other side, but where's the fun in that? I'll just kick it down, like that Terry Crews._ Lorenzo thought.

By "it" he of course didn't mean the door, but the wall instead. Lorenzo posed like Jackie Lee or Bruce Chan and made a Lorenzo Douglass shaped hole through the wall to the other side.

There was a narrow hallway leading to a purple pokeball on a pedestal, which had a note attached to it. It was in a glass container, which Lorenzo eagerly broke.

Lorenzo showed a rare scene of common sense and decided to read the note before breaking the pokeball, like he normally would.

It said,

 _To Ferrule Pencil,_

 _As you know, I have spoke with you about the panel and have given you the passcode, which i have engraved in your memory, 2845. You are now down here, in case of an emergency so dire that the entire world is in danger._

 _Whoever be the threat to the planet, Soviets, North Koreans, Chinese Communists, or the legends turning against us, I present to you the solution to the trouble: a singular pokemon._

 _This pokemon can shapeshift and can possibly destroy the entire universe. His name is Bob, he is a ditto, and is very loyal to whoever first sees him. He also has a strange fascination with cheese. Use him with caution._

 _Your father, Lead Pencil_

"Sounds like a job for Lorenzo Douglass!" he loudly exclaimed as he grabbed the ball and gently let it fall on the ground.

Just as the note said, a pink blob appeared. It had a simple smile on its face and immediately jumped onto Lorenzo's head.

"Aw, that's cute," he said. "Now, Bob, let's go to the surface."

"Okay, but I would wish to know who you are first," Bob asked earnestly.

"I am Lorenzo Douglass, the next best trainer in the world!" he said, stroking his own ego a little.

"Okay then, Zoey!" Bob said, immediately coming up with a nickname for him.

"My names not-" Lorenzo started, but he was cut off by ditto becoming a rocket and flying to the surface quickly, ignoring all stone in his way.

"-Zoey.." Lorenzo said weakly as Bob stood next to Lorenzo, who was shocked.

"You must like the nickname I gave you then!" Bob said excitedly. "You said it, and it was right after you introduced yourself!"

"Okay then Bob, we will go on a journey to conquer the league, starting now!" Lorenzo said, ignoring what Bob just said.

 _A nickname is gonna be least of my problems when I become a real trainer, and I might as well embrace it to make Bob happier._

"Now, here's the plan, Bob," Lorenzo said. "You are probably the only pokemon on this planet who can speak, and you must not show your ability to anyone, excluding me."

"Now, where are we?" Lorenzo said, an actually sensible question.

"We are right in front of Route 1, what a coincidence!" Bob exclaimed.

Lorenzo began laughing for unknown reasons as a confused Bob stared at him.

"Silly Bob, we don't start at Route 1, for we are not beginners, and we shall instead take the long way, all the way to Cinnabar Island to gain the 7th gym badge!" he said.

"Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to appreciate the lush, green, wondrous scenery of Viridian Forest and Route 1?" Bob questioned. "Also, wouldn't you be able to encounter newcomers just like you?"

"Yeah, but they're just fresh meat," Lorenzo explained. "We'd easily crush them."

"But it seems like you're the type of guy who would do 'rookie crushing', and shatter the hopes and dreams of those new trainers and eliminate future competition at the same time?"

"I like the way you think, Bob!" Lorenzo practically screamed out of excitement. "Let's proceed!"

 **This concludes chapter one. The now duo of an idiot and an all powerful being will crush the league, and I'll try to make it as interesting as I possibly can. As you can tell by my outbreak of ECKS DEE, I will often mock certain cliches of fanfiction, like Mary Sues.**

 **Stay Real my dudes, this is realepearson signing off.**


	2. Chapter 2: Zardoz

**I am proud to announce that this story has gained zero attention. It's not because I published it literally 5 minutes ago, but it is because you all are uncultured swine who have no idea what art is. Waaaah. I will now post one chapter every day instead of two like I was planning.**

Lorenzo and Bob were running down Route 1 from absolutely nothing.

"Zoey!" Bob yelled. "What are we running from?"

"I don't know!" Lorenzo yelled back. "And my name's not Zoey!"

Lorenzo tripped on something and fell face first into the ground.

"What was that…" Lorenzo said. He got up and looked to the possible cause of the fall.

A very agitated packet of salt was looking up at Lorenzo while holding a-.

"O boi i cant wqait toi c pascket of salut kik the creap oht of lorenzzzo," the idiotic realepearson said, typing away at his windows 95 computer with 19 different types of malware installed. "Packert of salyt wil lik wip out onm e of dos dings thagt loook like a couch and sholot lowenzo in his dumb face ecks deee."

Before the ignoramus could type his sentence one finger at a time while simultaneously using the other one to beat up a piece of steak, a portal ripped open and a tiny Russian boy walked out of it.

"Mmmmmmmmmm hwo r u ecks dee getg ogut me swampo ecks dee io will cqall n paqwlice eclks dee," realepearson said.

"Hello, I am Misha, supreme lord of the ratings on FanFiction," the identified Misha said. "I make sure no one ever violates the ratings they put on the fanfiction. As you may or may not know, you rated this as K+, and you definitely shouldn't talk about guns. I, supreme lord of the ratings on FanFiction. Failure to comply with me will result in termination of your account and all of your works."

"Ye gyz i dont no wot temrinate meanms i thiknk itb mesans congratulkations in anlother lanngige eckd de," realepearson said very stupidly. "Ye ik gteg congrayulations for beeing savige and dab on h8rs ecks dee so i wil chang myt name 2 michale p ecks dee bhyut i spoel it as micheal p ecks dee juts like jake paul savage ecks dee rofl.'

"Seeing as though you will eviscerate my sanity, and that the tiny children most likely won't remember me as a character because I am so bland and unoriginal, I will instead put a much more memorable pokemon to censor your fanfiction, and one that is edgy to appeal to the edgelords on FanFiction," Misha said, surprisingly logical for a 7 year old.

Misha then began to whistle and a tiny black and red fox came out of a portal.

"Death comes," the surprisingly edgy fox said. "I, Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV, shall keep track of and censor any malevolent form of language not suitable for a juvenile audience."

"Very well, then," Misha said. "I now make my leave." Misha then jumped out the window and flew into the sun.

"Okmg edgine ss overlad ,KBI GFJLKFSaKshllksrjgliudhyfmfjungnnmb dfbnksdnskldkfjlKJREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEElkjengwnrgk gnkehngndsm,v kansl/nglskRFbn," Micheal raged. "Okay guyz subsrib to mi utub cannel micheal_p ecks dee i plehy ohbby for su-"

"I, Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV, interrupt your statement to declare that you were in fact about to say what is said to be a curse word," Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV said calmly.

"Okay then ecksa dee i will contin ue writn de storuy eckes dee," Micheal P said.

Back with Lorenzo and Bob, the angry packet of salt was pointing a gu-, I mean magic wand of vanishing towards Lorenzo. I am very worried for Lorenzo.

"Hands up boi," the packet of salt said. "Breathe and I will shoot. You breathed! Okay then I will sho- cast a magic spell of vanishing upon you."

The bul-beam of magic shot out, but Lorenzo stepped out of the way very easily and threw a pebble at the packet of salt. The packet of salt was hit with the pebble and suffered a massive concussion.

"ACKACKACKACKACKACK," Packet of salt cried out in agony. He then proceeded to write his last will and testament, entitling everything he owns to his 4 year old son who lives back at the safety of McDonald's.

'Tell my children I love them," Packet of salt said as he coughed up salt and soon stopped living.

"What was the purpose of that scene?" Bob asked Lorenzo. "I mean, I didn't even have to do anything. That dude wasn't even a pokemon. Was it supposed to introduce the edgy censor and the idiotic author?"

"Author?" Lorenzo asked? "And scene? And when did we meet an edgy censor and an idiotic author? You're talking like this is all some story."

"Now you're acting out of character or OOC," Bob said. "You're supposed to be a cocky, arrogant, whiny child. Stop acting like a normal human being."

"Hey Bob, do you see that thing in the sky?' Lorenzo asked.

Bob looked up and noticed a giant rock in the sky and didn't step out of the way in time. He wasn't affected by the weight of the rock and instead crawled out and under it as liquid.

"Now who's rude enough to drop a giant rock on me?" Bob asked, a rhetorical question.

All of a sudden a hispanic man came running at them at high speeds and stopped right in front of him.

"I am Julio and I have been hired to remind you not to break the 4th wall," he said. "I will drop more boulders on you if you continue. I now make my leave."

He then hopped in his sombrero alien ship and flew to the United States. His ship was promptly blown up by the FBI.

"THAT'S IT!" Lorenzo yelled. "WE HAVE TOO MANY DISTRACTIONS. NOW WE WILL SPRINT TOWARDS VIRIDIAN CITY."

Lorenzo started running as fast as he could towards Viridian City, a groundbreaking distance of two feet.

"Now we challenge the gym here and get our first gym badge!" Lorenzo excitedly said.

"Seems like a nice plan," Bob commented. "But isn't this the last gym people usually fight when they challenge the league?"

"We are no ordinary trainers, and we have lost no times!" Lorenzo conceitedly said. "Whatever-his-face is won't stand a chance against us!"

"We haven't won any times either," Bob said. "But if you want to see your dreams get crushed, I won't stop you."

"Okay now, but we need to find the gym first," Lorenzo said. He then gandered upon the large city, resting his gaze upon a semi-large green building.

"Bob, use teleport!" Lorenzo commanded.

They both glowed a pale shade of blue and magically appeared in front of the Viridian City Gym.

"You ready?"

 **A/N ecls dee guyz i hop u enijyed dis chappie ecks dee i wil maek mor but njo one leav review exsept 3 reviews i wrot usin alternatge accounmt ,kgjb DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**


	3. Chapter 3: Laserblast

**A/N ecks dee guiys i have thirte minutes to wirfrte chapter ecks dee fguys ikts gonna end quick wedcks dee lol**

So Lorenzo and Bob were ready to challenge the Viridian City gym. They went stared at the massive building and its earth decor before nodding and ringing the doorbell.

"Quick, Bob, change into a less rare pokemon than a ditto," Lorenzo said. "I've got a bad feeling about this place, even though I have never heard of Team Rocket or Giovanni or Mewtwo or their relationship towards dittos."

Bob swiftly shifted into a less conspicuous Pikachu. Lorenzo then stared at Bob in disappointment and sadness for choosing such an… ordinary pokemon.

"When's the last time you've seen an electric pokemon take on a ground gym?" Lorenzo asked to Bob, talking down to him. "And why did you go with a pikachu? It's not evolved completely and has very weak stats."

"In the Pokemon reality show, Ash takes on Brock's two ground type pokemon with a pikachu and wins," Bob said. "He cleverly used sprinklers to negate the immunity ground has over electric. It's also the first thing that came to my mind."

"It's a reality show, and they needed to find a way for their cute cuddly mascot to defeat the unrealistic situation of facing two devastating counters to it," Lorenzo said.

Bob, realizing he was wrong in this situation, quickly shifted the topic to something that concerns the topic at hand more than arguing about a TV show.

"Hey, no one's answering the doorbell," Bob said. "I think we should go in. I mean, Pika pika chu ika chu."

Bob then heard a pikachu in the trees screaming at him to watch his language around its children.

Lorenzo tried the door, and it was surprisingly unlocked. The boy then pushed on the door and witnessed the immense inside of the gym. Thicc stone columns were around the borders, and the battling area was gigantic. One spot was for the challenger, and the other sat a throne, which was turned around completely like a swivel chair.

The chair slowly pivoted around to face Lorenzo and Bob, slowly revealing the face of the person running the gym. Even from afar, both Bob and Lorenzo could notice the face of the person. They gasped in unison.

"Holy shi-"

%^Intervention^%

"Good evening and welcome to the Edgy show where myself and a character I kidnapped from another fanfiction censor this Idiots fanfiction, and our special guest is no one else besides Spongebob Squarepants from the FanFiction 'Salvation,' which is widely regarded to be one of the worst, most horrid, FanFicton to ever disgrace this lowly respected platform that I have been born upon," Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV said. "Everyone engage in the activity known as applause. Why do we even applaud anyways to show respect? Is it to show noise for the person we like? Why don't we scream instead? Humans sure are weird… and I almost started talking about something more interesting than this show, and I believe I should proceed with the show. Now let's hear Spongebob utter a sentence, which most likely will be a completely irrelevant, racist, and homophobic remark, including god somewhere."

"Unhand me nigel baguette befor god smits u frum te hevuns," Spongebob said, a devout Christian. "I ned 2 sav squidward frum beeing a nigel baguette befor he borns."

"Now the plan here is that each time realepearson makes a non kid friendly remark or phrase in this story, we will interrupt with this broadcast, and we will extend the length of this every time to annoy the readers, giving bad reviews to the author," Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV said. "It's the perfect metaphorical hostage for the author, but I fear he is too unintelligent to actually do something about these threats."

"Kk gud becuz animi iz a sinn it sez that in de bibel an i h8 comiting sinz in frunt of the lowd," Spongebob said.

"Now, since this is the second occurrence on which realepearson has stated a non kid friendly remark, it is going to be short, and this will now conclude this session," Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV said. "Thank you for your involuntary time and have a slightly above average day."

%^Intervention^%

The man's face was grinning and it was revealed to be none other than Professor Pencil. He had a crazed grin on his face and was shaking uncontrollably. He was also stroking a white cat for no reason i guess.

"YOU RUINED MY LIFE'S WORK, MESSED UP MY LAB, AND ENDED TWO POKEMON LIVES," Professor Pencil yelled angrily. "Was this the calamity my grandfather would speak of when I was a child? This is just like those prophecies my dad told me, that of the devil's army raising from the dead and ending humanity?

Professor Pencil then rose from his chair, yelling, "YOU ARE THE DEVIL! I, FERRULE PENCIL THE II SHALL EXTERMINATE YOU, HELLSPAWN!"

"So are you gonna kill me or battle me?" Lorenzo said, eager for a battle. "Because whatever option you choose, you stand no chance against my battling prowess. We've lost no times!"

Bob was about to say something but stopped himself before he could blow his cover as a talking pokemon, especially in front of the worst possible person to do so. He instead shot out a bolt of electricity at the professor as a pikachu. He didn't know much concerning the topic, but he was loyal to Lorenzo, and this man was obviously threatening Lorenzo. Come to think about it, Bob would've probably been in that ball for another century if it weren't for Bob.

Professor Pencil did a backflip and took shelter behind his chair, evading the bolt. Unsurprisingly, the throne in the ground gym was immune to electricity.

Pencil poked his head out from the chair and whipped out a large two-handed gun from his trench coat. He loaded ammunition and blasted a boulder at Lorenzo and Bob.

Lorenzo put on his Matrix shades and automatically slowed down time. He walked over to the professor and punched him in the face, then took his weapon and tossed it in the way of the large rock. He then took of his shades and time went back into motion.

The rock hit the gun, utterly demolishing it, and crashed into the wall, leaving a great crater. Following that, Pencil used his superior intellect and quickly figured out that Lorenzo's matrix shades stopped time, so he pulled a small pistol from his trench coat and shot at Lorenzo's shirt, where the sunglasses lay.

The shot itself was very weak, so it only destroyed the glasses, and Lorenzo felt a small sting at his neck.

Bob got ready to shift into a large colossus and crush Pencil with his fists, but Lorenzo stopped him because he wants to handle this situation by himself for some reason, possibly risking his own life.

But Lorenzo did tell Bob to teleport over to Pencil and steal his trench coat and vanish before he stepped out of the fight.

Bob nodded and vanished in front of Lorenzo's eyes, but soon materialized behind Pencil and took his trench coat, which he noticed was unusually heavy for just a coat. Before Pencil could notice Bob, he vanished outside of the gym without a trace.

Behind the gym, he checked the pockets of the trench coat to see what was so heavy. Surprisingly, the coat was filled to the brim with weapons and possibly dangerous items to the point where it made a pile taller than Bob in his standard form.

Bob then began to think that he was under the influence so he figured more drugs wouldn't hurt. He then stole every drug imaginable and then became a drug addict.

 **%^Intervention^%**

Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV was sleeping quietly on the set, and was kicking about in his dream. A stick from off the screen poked him in the side and he jumped awake.

"THE NORMIES ARE HERE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he screeched loudly. "Oh, it was just a dream. Does it mean it's time again? I've only been asleep for 24 minutes…"

"So, I'm going to attempt to make this intervention as long as possible without overextending so that the idiot who is writing this fanfiction will hopefully stop putting mature content in a story he rated as K+," he said. "And I almost forgot to mention, our honorable guest for today is Lil Pump from the anime known as real life. Anything interesting, Lil Pump?"

"Yo dawg, I have behind me a really big whiteboard, and on that whiteboard is a complex equation proving that we are inside a simulation, known as the matrix, and we are all pieces of fiction made by a hillbilly from Montana," he said. "But that is what the matrix wants you to believe, for we are actually being written about by a 12 year old who thinks he is intelligent by mocking himself and writing intentionally bad fanfiction that will never see the light of day, and he is only continuing it after a month of hiatus purely because he is lazy. In fact, he is writing this in to mock himself further, and is appealing to the joke that myself, Lil Pump, is a genius and capable of doing complex equations like these. In fact, realepearson is not even the author of this, but a false god made by the author which portrays only the worst of himself and defect of his writing ability. It is sad that he is actually trying to make this story good and appealing to his audience of one person, and he is now furiously tapping away at his keyboard, making a security force to exterminate me for knowing the truth and being too intelligent, but I have already anticipated this and will ascend to a higher plane of existence the moment I deal with the terminators."

He then got up and exited the room briefly before returning with some miscellaneous items. Lil Pump then threw a rock on the floor and leaned against the wall and started to whistle nonchalantly.

Just like the 17 year old genius predicted, ten giant terminator bots crashed into the room and started to scan the room for their target. Their red cameras locked onto Lil Pump, but they were stopped by a talking small green object.

The robots looked at the green object and laughed, but then the green object said something that made them keep their trust in him.

"WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB, I'M PICKLE RICK!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He automatically displayed his iq of 1,000,000 to the robots and looked at Lil Pump and got ready for a good ol' fashioned 1v1.

"I see you have a rock on the floor," the newly named Pickle Rick observed. "If I were to step on this rock, it would reveal itself to not be a rock, but a cleverly hidden landmine instead. That or it will trigger a trap beyond anyone's comprehension and will slice the top of my body off. Either that or it will destroy the entirety of this dimension by accessing dimension 981-NmK, which will itself destroy the entirety of the universe with its violation of the 2nd Impactful Planet Pact. that or it is merely a normal rock, and you are trying to make me think about all of this so that I either waste time or will avoid the rock or you in general."

"Sorry, but none of those intellectual guesses are correct, Pickle Rick, but the truth is far beyond your thought capacity," Lil Pump said. "Although it seems rather simple, the author of this story made it so for plot convenience that you will not firmly grasp the idea here."

Lil Pump reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote control and tapped a button, making the rock enlarge to be about the size of a laptop, but thicker. It soon took the shape of a radio, which had enhanced speakers on it.

"Prepare to have your insides blown inside out," Lil Pump said, as he pressed another button on the remote.

All of a sudden, all of Lil Pump's songs played at once, instantly blowing up all of the kill bots at once. However, Pickle Rick stood up to this and withstanded the music and instead started screaming Rick and Morty catchphrases at Planet Combopulon's orbit speed.

Both of the geniuses were writhing in pain and covering their ears at the sheer intelligence of what was playing and being said, but Lil Pump slowly crawled over to the whiteboard with the complex equation on it, and used his psychic powers to create a clone of it, which he began to write on. What he began to write was the largest, most complex equation in the history of the entire Polyverse of Multiverses, which was so complex talking about what it talked about would fry any living being. He then wrote the finishing number on it, and harnessed the energy the equation created just by itself, and blasted it at Pickle Rick.

In that time, however, Pickle Rick had made an equation with the same level of complexity and length as Lil Pump's, and shot out a laser of the same proportions, making a harry potter-esque battle.

"This battle will theoretically go on forever, Pickle, so I will have to violate the Code of Intelligence and do the unspeakable," Lil Pump said. Lil Pump then created another boar and wrote "gucci gang" once on the board. Instantly, Pickle Rick got blown inside out, and his corpse was now laying on the floor, oozing brine.

Lil Pump stood triumphantly over the Pickle Rick he defeated, and instantly went to work on a new song he is creating.

"So, writing Gucci Gang once beats playing every song you've ever created, ever?" Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV said. "Or was it the paradox you created in that same statement?"

"Yes, it is the paradox, and I will answer the question floating around in your mind as well," Lil Pump said. "You are immortal because you are already dead on the inside, so you weren't affected by it, that and you possess a genius level IQ because you watch Rick and Morty."

"Thank you for your time, Lil Pump, but we are soon reaching our time limit, so I will have to end the intervention now and go back to whoever wrote this story's creation," Shadow Night Darksman Edgier the IV said. "If that was interesting, try to convince realepearson to include more profanity and adult themes in his fanfictions so that we will be back here again."

 **%^Intervention^%**

Lorenzo and Professor Pencil were running at each other at top speed, while screaming at the top of their lungs. Lorenzo used his small size and dove for Professor Pencil's legs and brought them both down.

Lorenzo followed up by launching a furious flurry full of fists at Pencil's face, got a few blows in, but the Professor kicked up at Lorenzo and got him onto the floor. Pencil jumped onto Lorenzo and started beating him furiously, and Lorenzo couldn't kick off at him because he was too short.

Ferrule then reached into his boot and pulled out a long knife, ready to stab Lorenzo and cut his face open. He brought down the blade, but Lorenzo put his face out of the way and he bit down on Pencil's good arm, causing him to yell out in pain and dropping the knife.

Seeing his opportunity, Lorenzo picked up the knife and attempted to drive it into his neck, but Pencil sidestepped and it dug into his shoulder instead. Professor Pencil then aimed a blow at Lorenzo's face, ignoring the raging pain in his shoulder. He connected, but Lorenzo responded with a kick to the side.

He then tried to do a drop kick on Ferrule Pencil, but the professor grabbed him by his legs and spun him around wildly for a good ten or twenty seconds, waiting for the opportune moment to launch Lorenzo into the throne chair, since it was the closest hard surface which was not the floor.

Lorenzo's teeth felt the impact of the incredibly hard chair head on, breaking a few of them in the process. He heard Pencil's footsteps rushing at him, getting ready to punch him, so Lorenzo dove behind the chair and let the Professor's fist fly at the lonsdaleite chair, breaking his phalanges.

As the professor cried out in agony, Lorenzo used this opportunity to use the chair to jump high into the air, and then brought his foot down on the professor's damaged hand, distracting him further.

Lorenzo shoved the professor to the ground, keeping on of his feet on his damaged hand, while kicking at his face with the other.

The professor was in agony and couldn't think very well, but he immediately came up with a plan. He took out the knife that was dug into his shoulder with his left hand and drove it into Lorenzo's leg, not letting go, and bringing the blade up and down.

Lorenzo's attention shifted down to his stabbed leg, and he fell down due to lack of balance. He kicked at the professor wildly with his good leg, but the professor stopped it and stabbed around his kneecaps, preventing movement.

Ferrule then did the same treatment to Lorenzo's arms, incapacitating him further. Pencil then started driving his blade into Lorenzo's throat, but a loud noise stopped him.

His body fell backwards, and Lorenzo turned his neck to see who shot Professor Pencil, which was none other than Bob.

"That was really stupid, ya know," Bob said. "You could've died if I hadn't sobered up from all those drugs I took.'

"I thought I could handle it, but it didn't work for some reason," Lorenzo said. "And aren't gyms supposed to have battles between trainers?"

" _Pokemon_ battles, Lorenzo," Bob said. "You don't actually do the physical fighting, which I think is kinda lame. Is this really what you thought gym battles were?"

"You're right, but when will I get my gym badge?" Lorenzo asked. "I got all these injuries, but no recompense for it?"

"I can just make those injuries go away," Bob said, as he shifted into a needle and poked Lorenzo in his injured areas. "As for the badge, that is actually a good question, and I suggest we search the corpse of Professor Pencil."

Lorenzo stretched his limbs, no longer feeling the pain of the stab wounds, and approached Pencil's body. He spit on it, followed by him searching all of the pockets of Professor Pencil. In one, he found a singular gym badge containing the light and dark green design.

"Now, let's go to the next gym!" Lorenzo exclaimed. "All the way in, um, what's the one with the psychic gym again?"

"Saffron city has the psychic gym, but that is the 6th gym badge, and the gym badge we are after next is the first gym badge in Pewter City," Bob explained. "But if you want to disrupt the order even more, I won't stop you."

"Wait, nevermind, I want to beat some of the trainers that beat Ash pretty badly in the Pokemon reality show!" Lorenzo exclaimed. "Especially that one dude with a sandshrew who won 100 times in a row, he had stupid hair."

"He's probably off defeating all the gyms, so do you wanna travel or teleport to all the gyms?" Bob asked. "I'm fine with either option, so whichever you choose is cool."

"I can't wait to become a pokemon master, but what is being a pokemon master anyway?" Lorenzo asked. "No one ever mentions anything about it."

"Oh, that's the prestigious title of whoever wins the world tournament, which only takes place after some kid becomes edgy and goes to Mt. Silver for a decade and returns for some unspecified reason," Bob said. "Trainers are given 3 chances before they are out, for fair chances, but you can only enter if the league invites you, so you will have to grab as much attention as humanly possible to even have a chance to enter."

There was a very faint screaming in the distance that Lorenzo only noticed after Bob stopped talking, which was weird because no one else was in the entirety of the large building, and the walls were rather thick.

"Hey, do you hear something, because I think I just heard someone screaming," Lorenzo stated. "Are we being followed, like with all those weird people stopping our journey?"

"No, that's just the audience screaming at the rather cliched idea for a world tournament for a pokemon master," Bob said. "You'll hear it a lot."

"But you said audience, meaning plural," Lorenzo said. "There was only one person screaming. And this isn't a story."

"The only person who reads this utter garbage is the author himself, his friends who he convinced to bare through it, and that one reviewer who is a legitimately good person who left about a month ago because the author didn't update the story until this day."

All of a sudden, a portal ripped out of the air. A giant white llama thing with a golden aura around it emerged from it and towered above the duo.

"I feel like I should introduce myself," it said. "I am Arcedeus, creator of all, reality shifter, and lord of the entire Polyverse. And I feel like you should introduce yourselves to me too, but I will do it for you. You are both under arrest by me and will be placed in the Prison of Time."

Bob and Lorenzo both gulped. This wasn't good.

 **A/N (real author) I sincerely apologize for being gone for a month. I felt lazy and didn't feel compelled to continue this story, but I was bored because Team Fortress 2 didn't run very well, so I decided to continue this story. I might continue this story further, but expect one or two or three more if I'm really a good boy during Christmas break, which forces me to head back to school on Wednesday. I did not double check this for spelling and or grammar errors, so don't be a d*** and call me out for anything.**


	4. Chapter 4: The Matrix

**A/N: So, it is 10:13 PM at night and I aim to finish this chapter at light speed. This is the part of the s***** author's note where I beg for reviews. Please review so I know people actually read this (lmao if anyone does). I am trying to concentrate on making this, but I am also watching a pokemon rom stream, so I might not be concentrating fully. Have fun baring through this chapter.**

"As I said, you are coming with me," Arcedeus said. "I hope you enjoy your millenium long stay in time prison."

"I will not allow this!" Bob exclaimed. "I will defeat you and I will, uh, kill you I think."

"Bob, you had too much drugs," Lorenzo said. "I actually think time prison might actually help you with your addictions that were barely mentioned previously."

"Enough stalling!" Arcedeus said. "Transporting you to time jail in a count of 3. 3, 2, 1, 0.5, 0.25, 0.125, 0.0625, 0.03125…"

Lorenzo and Bob both stared blankly at Arcedeus. They obviously didn't catch on. Bob was too high up, and Lorenzo was just stupid. Arcedeus just sighed.

' _Is this really what I'm spending my time on nowadays?'_ Arcedeus thought. ' _These morons don't even try to fight back! But if they don't fight back, that must mean they are ridiculously stupid. If they're that stupid, they shouldn't be a threat to the polyverse like I thought they would be! That or this is some elaborate plan. Or it is-'_

"So, are we getting arrested or not?" Lorenzo asked. "And what even is time jail? That seems really interesting and would make for a great plot line! I don't think there's been a giant prison escape arc on for pokemon so far! In fact, I might improve my skills a lot by being devastated in life! Just like all of those betrayed fanfictions that I read for trainer improvement tips!"

"Yeah man, I agree with you," Bob said while snorting some meth. "Wait, what were you saying again, Joel? And why is there a giant llama in front of me? I've only done 15 kilograms so far."

Arcedeus just left promptly after flipping them off and leaving to watch Breaking Bad in his throne room. There were better ways to spend his time than to deal with idiots. If he wanted to deal with idiots, he would just go to a universe where everyone is an idiot and laugh at them.

Right after Arcedeus left, Bob tossed all his meth, cocaine, LSD, and acid in the garbage can. He shook his face a few times, getting rid of the high expression that was on it a few moments prior.

"Brilliant acting, Lorenzo!" He exclaimed. "How did you know that the best way to deal with a deity was to act stupid or high and make him leave in confusion? OR is it just that great minds think alike?"

"Acting?" Lorenzo said. "You're acting stranger than normal. I thought we were in a fanfiction, not a movie. And I'm famous? How much is my own autograph worth?"

Bob paused, realizing what just happened. He thought it was best just to ignore this and just leave it be.

"You know what would be a smart idea?" Bob asked, a rhetorical question. "Continuing on with your bland journey to become a pokemon master."

"Oh yeah," Lorenzo said. "I almost forgot! Let's go and beat up some people with mullets!"

"Where did you even get the mullet part from?" Bob asked. "I just looked into the future and we don't encounter anyone with mullets, let alone beat up someone."

"What about girls?" Lorenzo asked. "Mullets are just long hair in the back, and short hair in the front. I'm pretty sure a lot of girls have that hairstyle, so I will beat up people with mullets! With my fists!"

"But why?" Bob asked. "And isn't assault illegal? And you'll get thrown in jail, and you won't be able to escape, because the government isn't a monarchy run by a llama."

"But we'll just do the same thing we did previously," Lorenzo said. "We are already on the run from the police for murder, so squeezing in some other crimes won't hurt if we're already going to be arrested for crimes."

"He wanted to arrest us for a different reason, because of the potential danger we show to the multiverse we are in, potentially the polyverse," Bob said. "I thought that was obvious."

"I think we should go to the world tournament," Lorenzo said. "Wait, is a random kid turning edgy and powerful on ?"

"Yeah, and he just went to the mountain," Bob said. "We need to participate in at least one league tournament to get qualified, and we need to make the semifinals."

"Cool!" Lorenzo yelled for no reason. "Now let's go to Pewter City, the legitimate way."

They exited the Viridian gym and walked towards the Viridian Forest to go to Pewter City. It was described to be a lush and beautiful forest, but for some reason all of the trees were dead.

"Is this the right forest?" Lorenzo asked. "It's normally much healthier than this," He pointed to a pedestal. "It even shows a picture here, and it's vastly different."

"Nope, this is not the right forest we are looking for," Bob said. "This is the Forest of Illusions, and lures in unsuspecting trainers so they will have a large, uninterrupted filler arc. I think that's really unnecessary."

"Then where is the right forest?" Lorenzo asked. "And how did we even get here? We're in Johto!"

"I actually have no clue about that one," Bob said. "I can only guess that someone or something is trying to sabotage us," He then pulled out a long piece of paper, almost as long as a costco receipt. "What I have here is a list of all known reality shifters and powerful beings who could have done this. What is known so far is that neither Arcedeus or any of the Arceuses could've done this."

The list automatically shortened to a smaller size, with only two names on the list, Robert Roman and Raul Pearson.

"Who's Robert Roman?" Lorenzo asked, following by him being whapped across the knuckles with a ruler.

"That's me, what do you think Bob is short for?" Bob said. "The Roman part comes out from when I helped the Romans conquer the world. How else do you think they became that powerful? And how do you think they made that highly flammable flamethrower that could burn on water? That was obviously me."

That name vanished off the list, and Raul Pearson was left remaining.

"Now who's Raul Pearson?" Lorenzo asked. "Isn't Raul a Spanish name? So is it that Spanish dude who threw rocks at you in chapter 2?"

"Who is writing this story?" Bob asked. "A fellow by the name of realepearson. Now does Raul Pearson and realepearson sound similar or what?"

"But how are we gonna beat the person who's writing this story?" Lorenzo said. "He's more god than god if he's making this entire story, and he's writing this conversation as well!"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna let you in on a little secret," Bob said, and leaned in to whisper into Lorenzo's ear. It was inaudible what Bob said to Lorenzo, but it must have been incredibly important if Lorenzo looked extremely excited after it.

"Now, don't talk about that, ever," Bob said. "If you talk about that, the author will grow a brain and figure out that he can make us say it out loud instead of whispering it."

"But how are we gonna beat him?" Lorenzo asked. "You just told me something else, not how to beat him."

"We don't," Bob said. "At least not right now, because we want to keep living, right? Now, I will teleport us to Viridian Forest, and I will make us not be able to teleport after that, since the author will just make us teleport whenever he feels like it."

Bob and Lorenzo both glowed blue and appeared in front of the real Viridian Forest this time, the one in Kanto. They wouldn't be able to use cheap teleportation anymore for plot convenience.

"Forget about what we were saying before now," Bob said. "We are a duo of blissfully ignorant trainers, on a completely original quest for you to become a pokemon master, right?"

"Yeah!" Lorenzo said. "Whatever you said."

"What did I say?" Bob asked. "I want you to repeat it."

Lorenzo sighed, "We are blissfully ignorant trainers on a completely original quest for me to become a pokemon master," he said.

"Good, now let us continue," he said. "And remember, I can't talk in front of other people, so do not try to ask me questions."

They walked along the path, with Bob disguised as a bulbasaur. They ignored all of the pokemon they saw, because Lorenzo considered them to be incredibly "weak and unworthy pokemon which would only weigh down the team".

They were walking along the path, wondering why they were even doing this instead of teleporting directly to Pewter City, but before they could regret that, someone popped out of the bushes and startled them.

This someone was an extremely scrawny twelve year old with a samurai helmet, naruto headband, dragon ball z gi, and sandals for some reason.

"I am Washichi Shige, and you intrude on my territory!" he screamed for no reason. "For this, I challenge you to a duel of honor! We will do a sword duel and you must head back if you get defeated, and if you beat me, you proceed."

"And what prevents me from walking past you and ignoring this whole 'duel of honor'?" Lorenzo asked. "Nothing, so if you'll pardon me, I have places t-"

"YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" the weeaboo yelled, pointing a katana at Lorenzo's nose. "NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE SOME HONOR AND ADMIT TO MY DUEL!"

"Fine, so how does it work?" Lorenzo asked. "Do we try to kill each other with swords, or do we just have a normal pokemon battle?"

"You will get a sword and will duel my pokemon and myself," he said. "If you are able to render us all unconscious, you may pass."

The weeaboo then pulled out two pokeballs and let them fall to the floor. Out of them came two beedrills, the only pokemon in the forest that had correlation with blades.

"Yeah, but where will I get a sword?" Lorenzo asked. "Isn't giving your opponent a fair chance to attack you being honorable?"

"Very well," the wannabe samurai said, and then pulled out another katana from another sheath. "Now you are ready for the duel, and it will begin with a count of three."

Lorenzo gripped the katana's hilt and wondered why he was doing this in the first place. He could probably walk faster than this kid too.

The weeaboo charged with his katana and swung it wildly in the general direction of Lorenzo. He obviously didn't know how to use it. Why waste money on a weapon you can't even use?

Lorenzo easily sidestepped the weeb and tapped his blade on the neck of the weeaboo.

"There," he said. "I got your neck with it, so do I win now? Or is this a fight to the death?"

"It is not a fight to the death," the samurai said. "You have done well and honorably, and may now pass the dangerous Viridian Forest now that you have proven you have the skills necessary to transgress it."

The samurai sheathed his sword, got the other one Lorenzo borrowed back, and took a bow before Lorenzo. The latter figured he should do the same to seem honorable, so he also bowed. He thought this was a waste of time.

Lorenzo then slowly walked backwards back onto the path, continuing his trek across the forest. That was an utter waste of time. How was that kid not dead yet? Some person who had malicious intent would have easily killed him,

Washichi Shige looked back at Lorenzo walking down the path. His job as a guardian was incredibly easy. He actually knew how to use the katana very well, and kept track of whoever had malicious intent and was walking down the forest, so that he could end any criminal or potential criminal by the duel. Lorenzo was a good hearted boy, he knew that for sure.

Lorenzo continued down the path, and eventually saw a sign welcoming any visitors to Pewter City. It wasn't as long as he thought it was, primarily because he ignored all of the pokemon because he didn't want to catch any of them.

"Hey Bob, what's the Pewter City gym leader's specialty?" Lorenzo asked. "I know his name is Brock, but that doesn't give off that many hints."

"What does Brock rhyme with?" Bob asked. "No, I can make it much simpler than that. Take away one letter from Brock, and what do you have?"

"Bock," Lorenzo said. "No wait, rock! He's a rock type specialist!"

"Very good, Lorenzo," Bob said, who felt like he was talking to a toddler. "Now what's your plan to beat him, because I know all of his pokemon also double as ground types for some reason."

"I don't plan things out," Lorenzo said. "Making plans just means you'll have to think more, and being successful without thinking too much is a good thing."

Bob shrugged and they went to find the Pewter City Gym, which was pretty hard to miss. It was a gigantic stone building with stone decorations outside of it.

Lorenzo walked up to it and knocked on the door politely, and no one responded.

"Just walk in, Lorenzo," Bob said, now disguised as a squirtle. "Gym leaders don't open doors for trainers because it removes the dramatic effect from the environment, ya know."

Lorenzo opened the doors, and he noticed the gym wasn't as large as the Viridian City gym, but it was very dark. Fortunately, Lorenzo could see very well in the dark because his parents locked him in a closet for 5 hours if he did something stupid. As anyone can guess, he spent the majority of his time in there.

"I can see you, Brock," Lorenzo said. "I've come to get a gym badge and stuff. I challenge you to a battle."

The lights suddenly turned on, and Lorenzo could see someone, but and he didn't look like Brock for some reason.

"Actually, I'm not Brock, but Craig instead," he said. "I'm the travelling substitute gym leader in case they're off on a ridiculous journey to find a mega stone or something. This time, Brock is off in Pallet Town betraying someone, so I will be battling you instead."

' _So he's one of the people betraying that edgy kid who went to Mt. Silver,'_ Lorenzo thought. ' _I'll have to thank him later for allowing a world tournament to happen.'_

Craig started by sending out a steelix, and Lorenzo, of course, sent out Bob, who was still a squirtle.

"Wait, isn't Steelix a steel and ground type?" Lorenzo asked. "That isn't a rock type."

"Bruno from the elite four has three onixes, none of which are fighting types," Craig responded. "So it's perfectly legal."

"God dammit Craig," Lorenzo said. "Can't you just have a little integrity, Craig?"

"I can't," he said. "The moment my parents named me Craig, I knew I had to be the worst person in existence and make everyone say, 'Dammit Craig'."

"Dammit Craig," Lorenzo said again.

"Steelix, mega evolve!" Craig said, touching a button on a weird bracelet which glowed, causing Steelix to change form into a cooler version of it, with crystals to further the coolness.

"Dammit Craig," Lorenzo said. "This is my second gym badge Craig! Ever!"

"Steelix, use precipice blades!" Craig yelled. "Before Lorenzo can say anything!"

Steelix slammed down its huge head on the ground, causing blades to stick out of the ground, hitting Bob soon afterwards.

"Dammit Craig," Lorenzo said. "Steelix can't even learn that move! And you distracted me from saying anything. Dammit Craig, those are dirty tactics!"

"Steelix, finish him off with earthquake!" he yelled, ignoring Lorenzo completely.

Steelix did as told and once again, slammed its head on the ground and caused shock waves to fly around the arena. Bob was hit by this also, but to no effect. He was clearly getting agitated, this Craig guy was the worst person on the planet.

Lorenzo sighed, "Bob, use hydro pump," he said.

Bob grinned, finally doing something, and hit Steelix head on with a full power hydro pump, causing the latter to faint instantly.

"My steelix was level 90!" Craig yelled. "Your squirtle can't be more than level 16!"

"Dammit Craig!" Lorenzo yelled. "Why were you using a level 90 on someone with one gym badge? And now I demand my gym badge, because Bob and I won fairly."

"No, I am keeping my gym badge, thank you very much," Craig said.

"I beat up Professor Pencil at Viridian Gym physically for a gym badge," Lorenzo said. "Do you want the same thing to happen to you? I'd get you on Channel 6 news as well!"

"It's all yours!" Craig said, obviously scared by a 10 year old. Craig then flicked off a gym badge and ran for his life in the other direction, outside of the gym, most likely to snitch on Lorenzo and get fifty dollars for doing so.

"I got my second gym badge!" Lorenzo exclaimed, holding it up to the sky.

"Who are you showing it to by doing that?" Bob asked, who shifted into a bulbasaur.

"I dunno," he said. "It makes me look cool and get more self esteem."

The duo then exited the gym and started to walk to the next city to get a gym badge: Cerulean City. They started on Route 3 and started just walking down the primarily empty path.

"Lorenzo, you know how you are saying that you won't catch a single pokemon besides me?" Bob asked. "Well, what about those matches that require more than one pokemon, and what about double battles?"

"You can split into two pokemon, right?" Lorenzo asked. "You can just do that, and I can recall you in battles requiring more than one pokemon and you can shift into another form, and just say you are a different pokemon entirely."

"But if you really want to be a master, wouldn't you have more than one pokemon?" Bob asked. "That's kind of the entire goal, to be able to do very well with all kinds of them, and not just me. There are tournaments where you get other pokemon besides your own and are expected to do well with them in the World Tournament. They thought all this through, ya know."

"But what am I going to catch?" Lorenzo asked. "And how do I know which pokemon are good and bad? How do I train pokemon?"

"That's what you need to know to become a master," Bob said. "That's why there are only 64 people in the world tournament, since most people just give up once they realize it actually takes effort to become a master.

"Okay then, I'll catch a pokemon in Mt. Moon then," Lorenzo said. "I heard they're pretty good, and Mt. Moon is just ahead."

"And also, any pokemon can be incredibly good with enough training," Bob said. "In fact, a greatly trained magikarp can beat a legendary pokemon that wasn't trained very much."

"But how do you train?" Lorenzo asked.

"That's where you come in," Bob said. "You're the trainer, so it's your responsibility to train your _multiple_ pokemon. Fortunately, I've been alive for literal millenium, so I can just tell you how the dastardly Romans trained their pokemon. To be honest, I don't think two league champions could step up to a single Roman pokemon novice."

"How did they do it?" Lorenzo asked, eager to learn about the ancient ways.

"Now, this may sound extremely harsh, but they put their pokemon through a pain game," Bob said. "The Romans thought up of every single torture method they thought of, but they first explained what they were going to do to their pokemon and why so that the pokemon wouldn't mistrust them. After taking every torture method from the book and using each of them on their pokemon, the result was a mentally and physically durable machine. As for attack, they made their pokemon fight literal mountains and made them destroy the whole thing with their bare abilities. With speed, they made their pokemon run ten miles away from yours truly every day."

"That seems really harsh," Lorenzo said.

"Isn't that what I started the whole thing with?" Bob asked. "And they conquered the world that way. The rest of the soft, squishy world didn't stand a chance against their cruel but effective ways."

"Okay, but where am I going to find torture methods and mountains?" Lorenzo asked. "I mean, all of the mountains are already occupied, like Mt. Moon has a lot of people inside of it currently."

"You know, it would be really nice if you had a pokemon who could shapeshift into literally anything, can shapeshift into many things as long as he split apart, and splitting apart could happen infinitely, and could do all of that at light speed," Bob said; he was really tired of Lorenzo not realizing what the former could do.

"Yeah, that would be nice," Lorenzo said. "Did they conquer the world to get more mountains or something, and how do you know all of the pokemon's strength? Did they hit you a lot or something?"

Bob, at this point decided an idiot like Lorenzo was the type of person who would only learn from show and not tell. Bob looked around himself, and saw that they were now in a desert portion of Route 3, before Mt. Moon. It was very flat and had no people, monuments, or structures around the place where they were in a five mile radius.

Bob split in two and part of him grabbed Lorenzo, and the other half threw the two of them about five miles away, to make sure Lorenzo doesn't get harmed.

Lorenzo didn't expect that, but a mountain was now in front of him for some reason. He was extremely confused.

"Did you create a mountain?" Lorenzo asked.

"No, half of me _became_ the mountain," Bob explained.

"Oh, that's what you were getting at," Lorenzo said. "I understand now."

Bob sighed in relief. Things were getting better between the two of them, and Bob realized that he would have to be very patient if he wanted to be Lorenzo's pokemon.

The mountain suddenly disappeared and the two Bob's merged together again.

"So, any other questions before we move on to Mt. Moon and you hopefully catch a pokemon?" Bob asked.

"Yeah," Lorenzo said. "How will I catch the pokemon if I don't have any pokeballs?"

Bob pointed an arm at what seemed to be a pokecenter right outside of Mt. Moon.

"There's a place where you can buy pokeballs, and I don't even think you signed up for the league tournament yet, ya know, the thing you should do if you want to compete," Bob said. "I can just stretch us all the way over there, because honestly, I'm quite tired of rolling across this sand, and I'm pretty sure you are to. And when was there a desert portion before Mt. Moon? Has pollution really gotten this bad?"

Bob grabbed Lorenzo and stretched his jello-like body across the desert to the pokemon center. They opened the doors and walked in; Lorenzo's first time in a pokemon center.

Bob immediately shifted into a less conspicuous charmander, and he watched as Lorenzo walked up to the nurse.

"Can I sign up for the Indigo League tournament?" he asked to her.

"I don't know, can you?" the nurse responded.

"Yeah," Lorenzo said, not noticing what she was asking for.

Bob angrily looked up at Lorenzo, but there was nothing he could do because he couldn't talk in public, otherwise Lorenzo's life would be put on the news and all the teams from all the regions would be after Bob, just like all those decades back.

The nurse also sighed, "Look, I'll just sign you up, but I'll need to borrow your pokedex for a second if you want to sign up."

Bob realized Lorenzo did not have a pokedex because he sent Professor Pencil to the hospital, he grabbed a wrong starter, and Professor Pencil is now dead. Bob's quick thinking split a part of him off and made it into a pokedex programmed with all of Lorenzo's information.

Lorenzo checked all of his pockets, but couldn't find it.

"What does a pokedex look like?" Lorenzo asked. "I don't think I received one."

"I think you dropped it on the floor," she pointed out right next to Lorenzo's "charmander".

Lorenzo bent over and picked it up and gave it to the nurse.

She scanned it and logged him in to the tournament.

"You're all signed up for the tournament, Lorenzo," she said.

"Thanks, but where can I buy pokeballs?" Lorenzo asked.

The nurse pointed to a stand located to the east, labeled with 'pokeballs'. Lorenzo then walked over to the stand and looked up at all of the pokeball options, about seven of them.

"Can I help you?" the clerk asked. "Would you be interested in buying some pokeballs?"

"Yeah!" Lorenzo said. "I'll take twenty normal ones, please."

The clerk ducked beneath the stand and returned with twenty one pokeballs, one being a gold color.

"Here are your twenty pokeballs, for a total of $40.00," the clerk said. "And if you want a bonus pokemon which also can become an incredibly strong, rare, sought after pokemon, why don't you pay for a good deal of $5.00 extra?"

Lorenzo felt a tug on his pant leg and looked down at his "charmander" shaking his head no, but he ignored that.

"You've got me sold!" Lorenzo yelled, reaching for his wallet. He then opened it up and withdrew four ten dollar bills and one five dollar bill, and gave that to the salesman.

"Have fun with your new, strong pokemon!" the salesman exclaimed after Lorenzo left the pokecenter.

"Lorenzo, are you stupid?" Bob asked as they were heading towards Mt. Moon.

"Yeah, why?" Lorenzo responded with.

"You do realize that was a scam, right?" Bob said. "The man said it _can_ become a extremely strong pokemon, meaning it's probably an extremely weak pokemon like magikarp or rattata."

"But didn't you say that magikarps can beat legendary pokemon if they are trained hard enough?" Lorenzo countered with.

"Oh yeah?" Bob asked. "I bet that magikarp has been given and everstone and can't evolve."

"How do you even know if it's a magikarp or not?" Lorenzo asked. "You're just assuming at this point."

Bob grabbed the golden pokeball from off Lorenzo's waist, took gold wrapping off of the pokeball, revealing it to be just a normal pokeball, and then he threw it at the ground.

Unsurprisingly, a magikarp came out of the ball, flopping around in delight. Surprisingly, it was a golden magikarp and flopped happily to Lorenzo and nuzzled up against his leg.

"Aren't magikarps orange?" Lorenzo asked Bob.

"Yes, yes they are," Bob said in confusion. "This magikarp just so happens to be a shiny one, and I'm guessing the man breeds magikarp and never even looks inside the ball to see if it is rare or not. Shiny pokemon are extremely rare, by the way."

"So, now that we have a pokemon now, should we begin training now?" Lorenzo asked.

Bob looked back at Lorenzo with a devilish grin and nodded slowly.

 **one stupid training montage with a copyrighted song later**

"How long did magikarp train for, Bob?" Lorenzo asked. "It felt like forever."

"Then your guess is right," Bob revealed. "I actually froze time just so magikarp could train even more, and now it seems like an extremely strong pokemon," Bob laughed. He should stop abusing his powers, but it was too fun to do.

"Now let's go roll through Mt. Moon and catch a pokemon," Lorenzo said, and off the duo went into the cavernous depths of the giant mountain.

They noticed the cave was extremely bright for something, and there were no pokemon in sight. Even an idiot like Lorenzo could figure out something was wrong with this picture.

"You know what, Bob?" Lorenzo said. "I think we should take a different approach to Mt. Moon."

"What is your different approach, Lorenzo?" Bob asked. "Is it tunneling underground to the other side?"

"Better!" Lorenzo exclaimed. "We're gonna climb the mountain and see all of the fascinating pokemon ON Mt. Moon!"

They then exited the cavern and looked up. Bob immediately knew Lorenzo wasn't going to actually climb the mountain by himself, so he grabbed him and stretched upwards to the top of the mountain. The top of the mountain was very lush, having a lot of wildlife on top of it, in contrast to the vast desert beneath it.

"That's weird," Lorenzo said.

"What's weird?" Bob asked.

"In all of the TV shows and documentaries that I've ever seen, the top of Mt. Moon is always a dry, rocky place that you can access by entering the cavern," he explained.

Bob became a dragonite all of a sudden and blasted a hyper beam through the floor they were standing on, but a little far away. He then shifted back into a ditto and looked down the hole with Lorenzo.

"Hey, that looks exactly like the top of Mt. Moon I saw in all of those documentaries and TV shows," Lorenzo said.

"It's a fake ceiling," Bob explained. "That means someone or something is hiding something at the top of Mt. Moon. We're gonna figure out who is hiding what here."

They then walked across the forest on Mt. Moon and immediately encountered a building not far from where the center was. As if they knew Lorenzo was coming, the people who owned and used it put their emblem onto the building as to show that it is indeed theirs: Team Rocket.

"I hate Team Rocket," Lorenzo declared loudly to Bob.

"Any reason why?" Bob asked.

Lorenzo grabbed Bob and threw him at the building as hard as he could, as if he wanted him to destroy the building.

"I HAVE A HERO COMPLEX!" Lorenzo yelled.

Bob let this happen, and quickly thought of the quickest method to get rid of this rather large building. He shifted into a mountain, just big enough to not destroy the entirety of Mt. Moon, and let it crush the building, along with the unfortunate saps who were present inside of it.

Bob then came back as a boomerang to Lorenzo, who caught Bob.

"Now what, Lorenzo?" Bob asked. "You completely trashed a potential story arc that would have taken another chapter, and you trashed even more because team rocket won't even know you did it."

"I can fix that," Lorenzo said, and pulled a can of spray paint out of thin air, but not really. The air was kinda thick on the top of Mt. Moon.

Lorenzo walked over to the ruins and spray painted, 'LORENZO DOUGLASS DID THIS. COME AFTER ME AND CREATE A FILLER ARC SO BOB WON'T GET MAD AT ME'.

"Now, we make our getaway," Lorenzo said, and Bob stretched them both across all the way to the Cerulean gym.

"Now we fight the gym leader here at Cerulean gym," Lorenzo said. "Wow, that was actually kinda fast."

"Hey Lorenzo, weren't you gonna catch a pokemon at Mt. Moon?" Bob asked.

"Yeah, I did when I threw you at the building," Lorenzo said and pulled out a pokeball from his belt.

"But what did you catch?" Bob asked.

"You think I know the names of all the pokemon in the world?" Lorenzo asked.

"Well, all of your pokemon and information is recorded on your pokedex, the one you hopefully did not lose," Bob said.

"Oh yeah," Lorenzo said and pulled out his pokedex, and then checked his pokemon.

"I caught a ditto!" Lorenzo exclaimed. "Oh wait, that's just you. I caught a Mega Mawile!"

"But that's not even possible!" Bob said. "That's a pokemon from Hoenn, and a rare one at that as well! And you don't catch mega pokemon in the wild, and you wouldn't be able to catch it unless you weakened it first."

In a blink and you'll miss it moment, Bob all of a sudden noticed a portal with numbers flashing on the other side of it. This was the chance he was waiting decades to perform. He grabbed Lorenzo and jumped in the portal before it could vanish and he would have to wait another decade or so.

The environment and the people all around Lorenzo and Bob faded away. They were now in what seemed to be a child's room, with planets on the ceiling, a bed, and a desk with a computer on it.

"I've got you now, Raul Pearson!" Bob declared heroically. "Your endless tyranny over this world will now end!"

The chair in front of the computer turned around, and a 12 year old boy was rubbing a cat that was on his lap for some reason, just like a James Bond villain.

"Wel, wel, wel, ive bin ekspecting u," Raul said.

"Have you now?" Bob asked. "You didn't make that canonical error in the story on purpose, and I know that by reading your mind."

Lorenzo started charging at Raul for no apparent reason, and the former was lifted in the air by an unknown force. Lorenzo was thrown out of the window and landed on the driveway outside.

"Nw itz juts u n mee," Raul said. "Maek ur mov. Im waytin."

Bob made a pillar of spikes arise from underneath raul, but Raul teleported in front of Bob and swung a ban hammer at Bob, who dodged under it and avoided the blow completely. This would obviously go on forever, since both of them were practically omnipotent.

Lorenzo got up in a daze from the ground and looked and saw that he was thrown off the second floor. He knew he wanted to be apart of the fight, so he scanned his brain for a solution. Then he got it. He'd seen the same thing in numerous video games.

Lorenzo started to wait on the road outside of the house, and he saw that a car was coming. He quickly grabbed the sign saying the street number of the house and swung it at the car, hitting it dead on and shattering the windows.

The driver came out, who was a big burly man carrying a baseball bat. Lorenzo gulped. This was going to be one heck of a fight.

The driver then swung the bat at Lorenzo, who ducked underneath it and grabbed the large weapon. However, this had little effect as the big man just took it right back out of Lorenzo's hands.

The man then began chasing Lorenzo, still wielding a bat in his hands. Lorenzo was frantically trying to think of a solution to defeat the big man, then thought of a good one.

Lorenzo ran towards the car and used his small size to crawl underneath it. The big man wouldn't be able to follow him, but the big man quickly thought of a counter to that.

The big man dropped his bat, went into the driver's seat of the car, and started it; he was going to run Lorenzo over.

Lorenzo exited the underneath quickly and and opened the man's gas chamber. He pulled out the spray paint from earlier and had a plan, looking at the HIGHLY FLAMMABLE warning on the can.

The man was about to push the pedal, but he smelled smoke. Then his car exploded, along with the man inside.

The explosion was very loud, and it was just powerful enough to knock the man unconscious. Lorenzo then picked up the discarded baseball bat and the dismantled car parts.

With the parts, he built a makeshift ladder to the 2nd floor and stepped in with the bat. Bob and Raul were doing moves on each other, both of them blocking the other's moves completely.

Lorenzo stealthily snuck past the battle and behind Raul. Right when he was attacking, Lorenzo swung the bat as hard as he could at the back of Raul's head, knocking the 12 year old boy unconscious.

Bob then looked upon Raul and decided to finish the tyrant who controlled the lives of millions unfairly now. Bob's hand became a knife, and he cut right into Raul's neck, killing him instantly.

Once Raul's throat was cut open, the environment around Lorenzo and Bob quickly changed to the Cerulean gym once again.

"What happened?" Lorenzo asked. "And why did I help kill that guy?"

"Raul Pearson happened," Bob started to explain. "The tyrant of this entire work of fiction. He toyed around with the lives of whoever was in his story just for the fun of it. Once I noticed he made an error in the story that could not be explained in a moment's notice, I had my chance to transport us to the domain of Raul, so I took it. The reason why I took you is because I knew two unstoppable forces colliding into each other would result in an endless battle. So then I realized that 101 is more powerful than 100. We have just saved the entire polyverse, Lorenzo."

"But if he was the writer of this, now what will happen to us?" Lorenzo asked. "Why are we not dead?"

"A better author found us," Bob said. "Now, you can fulfill your dream in peace."

"But where's the fun in that?" Lorenzo said. "You just eliminated the conflict of this entire story in less than a moment's notice. Now what?"

"Well, here's the thing, kid," Bob said. "I kinda lied about that part, and I'm gonna be honest with ya. That was the central conflict of the story, so now the story will have to end, just like all things. Except the pokemon anime. That'll go on forever. The most I can do in my power is reset the polyverse, so you will have a new life with a new story, new author, and a different plot. What I meant by fulfill your dreams in peace was in another life, without an all powerful ditto following you around everywhere."

"Is that why all of the world is being enveloped in green numbers?" Lorenzo asked through tears. "And Bob, I'll miss you for sure."

"Wanna have a beer and watch the end of the world with me?" Bob asked, pulling two beers and lawn chairs out of nowhere. "It's not illegal if it's the end of the polyverse."

"Sure thing," Lorenzo said while crying.

Soon, the green numbers were reaching them.

"Well, kid, I'll see you in the next life," Bob said. "And to be fair to you in the next life, I'll give ya the memories of everything we've been through and this life's memories. It's the only power I have left at this point, but it will surely do something."

Lorenzo and Bob clinked their beers together for the first and last time and chugged them down as they too got enveloped in the green numbers.

 **A/N: Would you prefer me to continue this or not? Because I would be able to still continue it, or are you fine with this ending? Would you want me to write about the new life of Lorenzo Douglass and Bob and let them find each other? If interested, send an email to** **myfaceistoostrong** **, and I will respond to you if I hear you. Or just leave a review. You don't even need an account to make reviews.**


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